It’s Behind You: The importance of reflection and communication with Ayesha Murray

There is an insta-perfect perception of remote schooling and revision. It’s the one where parents are casually teaching their children quadratic equations; while perfecting cold fusion as a side hustle. In this world parent and child move in some magical symbiotic harmony. And the kids probably even volunteer to put the bins out. Yeah right! The very real reality is that parenting and schooling in lockdown is tricky. It can feel like there’s little to no respite. Friction is to be expected. But is there something in how we deal with it that will unlock a more positive outcome?

This week’s podcast looks at how parenting might be getting in the way of getting the most out of our children.

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https://audioboom.com/posts/7798006

Nathan McGurl, Founder of The Study Buddy, is joined by Ayesha Murray.

In this episode, we look at some simple coaching techniques. These will help you to connect with your teen at a time when they are likely to be feeling unsettled and demotivated. Ayesha also reminds us that self-compassion is vitally important – for our young people and also for us parents.

This week is very much like previous weeks for our teens – and that groundhog day effect is impacting how they feel. Motivation has suffered from the lack of an exam goal, and the isolation is really starting to take it’s toll too. But what most are struggling with is the relentless drive forward, regardless of how they feel.

For Joe, this dip in his drive has caused him to fall behind in some of his lessons. But that is snowballing because he still has new content to learn but his state of mind isn’t improving because he’s mindful of what this might mean to his teacher-assessed grades. So, Joe’s mum has taken away his PS4 I guess both as a deterrent to not fall behind again, and also as a consequence. Joe isn’t happy about it, as you might expect.

This isn’t an episode about whether he should be punished, as we’re taking a very narrow view of the situation. It’s simply about approaches to communicating with our teens and how to help them get the most out of themselves.

About Ayesha Murray

Ayesha is a professional coach who has built her career working with parents to find balance. She is also the host of the popular “parent equation” podcast.